If you are in France today, beware the Fish!
Your guide to escape from the April Fools' Day frenzy!
I still remember the first time I tried to explain Poisson d’Avril to an Australian friend. He stared at me, completely blank, and said:
“Wait. You stick fish on people’s backs? Paper fish? And that’s… fun?”
I mean, fair question. It does sound ridiculous. It is ridiculous.
But it’s also one of those silly, harmless traditions that make France… well, France.
And if you happen to be in France today — whether you're strolling through Paris, exploring a quiet village in the Dordogne, or simply popping into a bakery for a croissant — don’t let your guard down.
Not even for a second.
Because somewhere nearby, there’s a giggling child with a glue stick.
And trust me, you don’t want to be the unsuspecting tourist walking around with a bright orange trout taped to your coat.
Right, let’s rewind a bit.
So, why a fish? And why the 1st of April?
I’ve been asking myself the same thing for years.
There are a few theories.
Some say it has to do with the calendar reform back in the 16th century when the French decided to shift New Year’s Day from 1st April to 1st January.
Some people didn’t get the memo (or pretended not to), and others mocked them with fake gifts and silly pranks. Aïe aïe aïe. History is cruel.
Another idea links it to Lent — no meat, just fish — so pranking someone with a fake fish was a gentle jab at their empty stomachs.
But honestly, who really knows? It’s France.
We love traditions that don’t quite make sense, especially if they involve children doing mildly chaotic things with bits of paper and sticky tape.
The Great French Fish Ambush
If you're lucky (or unlucky) enough to find yourself in a French primary school on April 1st, brace yourself.
It’s not just chaos — it’s weaponised creativity.
Children arrive with scissors, crayons, entire packs of coloured paper, and one singular goal: stick as many fish on as many backs as possible before lunchtime.
Teachers are prime targets. Parents are not exempt.
You wouldn’t be surprised to see a headmaster walk into the staff room with seven different fish stuck to his jacket. Yep, seven. He would look oddly proud of himself as if he'd survived a battle.
And here’s the thing: the fish are rarely discreet.
We’re talking bright green creatures with googly eyes and giant lips, sometimes with “POISSON D’AVRIL” written in bold capital letters across the belly, just in case you missed the joke.
Subtlety is not the point. Volume is.
You haven’t really experienced France until you’ve turned around in the bakery queue and seen an elderly gentleman with a hand-drawn salmon flapping gently from his back.
He doesn’t know. No one says anything.
It’s the sacred silence of April Fool’s complicity.
Even the Grown-Ups Join In
Now, don’t think it’s just the kids.
Oh no. The adults have their own tricks.
Newspapers, radio stations, even official government accounts sometimes play along.
One year, a French airline announced the launch of a new flight route for pets only — complete with in-flight treats and tail-wagging lounges.
Another time, a cheese manufacturer introduced a camembert-flavoured toothpaste. People were honestly quite excited, which says a lot about us as a nation.
It’s silly. It’s entirely unserious. And we love it.
How to Survive April 1st in France
I won’t lie to you. If you’re in France today, it’s already too late.
The fish are out there. But still, a few survival tips (based on years of personal trauma) might help:
First, if a child approaches you with a suspiciously innocent smile and their hands behind their back, run. Don’t engage. Just walk away calmly and with purpose, as if you're avoiding a stray pigeon.
Second, check your back. Often. Especially after standing near walls, groups of giggling children, or your own grandchildren. (They will betray you. Always.)
Third — and I’ve tested this — wear a decoy fish. Yes, really. Stick your own fish on your back first thing in the morning. It throws them off. They see it, hesitate, and move on to the next victim. A small tuna might save your dignity.
And if all else fails? Embrace it. Laugh, take a selfie with your ridiculous fish, and pretend you’re in on the joke — even if you’re not.
Final Thoughts: Long live the silly fish
You know, sometimes people ask me why the French are so obsessed with their traditions.
We have our galette des rois with paper crowns in January, our Fête de la Musique in June where everyone suddenly becomes a street performer, and of course… our beloved Poisson d’Avril.
It’s absurd. It’s juvenile. It involves an alarming amount of glue sticks.
And yet, there’s something quite beautiful about a tradition so thoroughly pointless, so joyfully silly, that it survives century after century, purely because it makes people laugh.
And not in a mean way. There’s no humiliation, no big dramatic stunts.
Just a fish. A bit of tape. A giggle.
So if you ever find yourself in France on the 1st of April, don’t be surprised if you suddenly become a walking aquarium.
Just smile, play along, and remember: it could be worse.
At least it’s not a live fish. (Although… now that I say that, I’m giving myself ideas.)
Anyway. Happy Poisson d’Avril, my friends.
And if someone tells you there's a new law banning peanut butter in France?
Or that the Eiffel Tower is being relocated to Marseille?
Don't believe a word of it.
(Or maybe do. Just in case. You never know with the French. 😉)